my perfect eleven -- bananas

after a small debate that taras and i engaged in on a posting of giovanna's, i started thinking about who the best midfielders are (and i stand corrected as far as ballack being in the top three. he's still better than lampard, but he doesn't even make my top five). and that led me to wonder who i would pick as my perfect eleven. well...here it is.

and please post your own eleven too (or just list them in your comments). the rules are that the players and manager must currently be working in europe. you get your perfect eleven on-field and you get five subs (like english football). have fun (i can't wait to see giovanna's list. somehow i think it will be all about hotness ;)).

a note on my selections: two of my favourite players are missing. i am picking my perfect eleven here. i am thinking of great players whose styles would suit one another -- players i think would play well as a team. in fact, almost everyone i've chosen has a proven track record of placing the team before themselves.

goalkeeper (gk): iker casillas real madrid's warrior. he is the only reason they are still in third place in la liga. every game i've watched him in, he is both their best player and the spirit of the team (although becks has been a close second this season).

left back (lb): paulo maldini he may be old, old, old, but he is the best full back i've ever seen play (that wasn't in ancient highlight reels). ashley cole comes close going forward, and there are a few who come close going back, but in his prime there was no one like maldini. plus he is also a serious leader, whose experience is invaluable.

center backs (cb): john terry & carles puyol terry has become the england first choice and that is saying something with the wealth of central defense talent they have (excepting rio ferdinand, of course, who has no talent). even with terry's penalty box tackles and sneaky handballs i'd want him in my side. and throwing his head in the box on set pieces is a goalkeeper's nightmare. just ask victor valdes.

then there is puyol. if you don't know him, watch the next barcelona and chelsea game. he isn't as noticeable as many center backs, and that's a good thing. he is solid. he is strong. and he never gives up.

right back (rb): lauren
the perfect balance of forward and back and endurance and shooting power. although he has a tendency to check out against weak teams, he is still arsenal's most consistent defender, and when he gets forward the ball is always in the box for a striker's boot. and he's only missed one penalty shot in his whole life.

central defensive midfielder (cdm): patrick vieira the captain of my team. he is what roy keane was, without the maliciousness. he is the only thing holding the french national team together. he was the glue that held arsenal together. he has made a huge difference at juventus. he can score goals. he can play defense. he can tackle. he can distribute the ball. he is the shit.

central midfielders (cm, this can also include boys on the right or left): steven gerrard & owen hargreaves i'll start with kiki's eldest son -- stevie g. he is a man who can win a game on his own. when his team is down he can lift them on his shoulders and force them to victory, even against the best (i'm sure taras hates him). there has been talk of who should be in midfield for england, stevie or frankie. the truth is this: if it can't be both it better be stevie, cause frankie can't do what stevie can. oh he can attack, but stevie can do it all.

owen hargreaves? no fucking way. i'm kidding (besides he's a cdm). i just wanted to see if you were paying attention. no the real second midfielder for me is pavel nedved. the guy doesn't even have to look up to deliver a cross to anyone's boot. sure he's got bad hair, but he is the real thing. and as long as he stays healthy there is no harder working central midfielder (except maybe gattuso).

central attacking midfielder (cam): juninho pernambucano you can have ronaldihno and kaka (interesting that all three of the best in this slot, who aren't ancient mr. spock look alikes, are brazilian), but i'll take juninho. and he'll be taking all my free kicks. he's great in so many other areas, but this stat alone makes him one of the most valuable parts of my team: 50% accuracy on free kicks. that means that he hits the net and forces a save or scores half the time. no one else comes close. now consider how many of the other 50% of his shots were blocked or hit the post. he is THE free kick specialist extraordinaire, and he could force brazil into a 4-2-3-1 (or 4-2-4 if you prefer) formation come world cup time.

strikers(st, can also include center forwards): zlatan ibrahimovic & andrei shevchenko ibrahimovic is magic. he had the goal of the tournament at euro 2004. he is a potent strike partner for del piero or larrson or trezeguet. he is strong, selfless, cocky, passionate, and beautiful to watch. and you gotta love his nose.

sheva is the perfect compliment to zlatan. he is poised. he has amazing acceleration. his shots are accurate and hard. he can dive and secure penalty shots better than anyone (an incredible asset if he's on your team). he's never been red carded, which speaks both to his level head and his ability to hide his transgressions. and he is a true champion. so he missed a penalty kick last year to rubber legs dudek. i bet he won't miss one in the world cup, just as he didn't the other day against bayern munich.

subs: gregory coupet (gk): i think he may be even better than casillas, but he's not yet fully proven himself as a team player; gennaro gattuso (rm): my enforcer with skills; claude makelele (utility midfielder): the mellowing effect who can bring stability in case we're in trouble; wayne rooney (cf): some passion for when things get rough, and a little bulldozing scoring flare; gabriel heinze (rb): some beautiful crossing and tireless defending from one of the saddest injuries of the year.

manager: guus hiddink. certainly not my favourite manager, but he can get the best out of any team he manages. he doesn't fuck around. and the boys respect him. if i cared about the england team i'd want hiddink over everyone else.