banana's world soccer top ten

so here's my response to the herald's strange list of the best teams (i wonder if anyone who writes for a canadian paper even bothers to watch football. i know i watch too much -- league 1, serie a, premiership and champs league -- but the way they write i'd swear they float around the football sites and copy what others say without really thinking about it). so i am assuming that the best teams of the week are determined by a combination of their recent performance and overall performance. here is my more accurate list of what's happening out in the world of football.

juventus -- the simple reason is that they have one loss all season, and no other dropped points. but they have also been facing stiff competition lately (fiorentina and ac milan) and pulling through with masterful football, while destroying those they should, like their four - nil thrashing of cagliari.
liverpool -- ten straight clean sheets. top of their group in champion's league (ahead of chelsea), second place in the premiership and peter crouch scored a goal. they are playing far better football than chelski at the moment.
lyon -- they must be seen to be believed. they are even better without essien that they were with him. sure they only pulled a draw on the weekend, but they finished top of their group in the chamos league ahead of real madrid (who have no business anywhere on this list right now).
bayern munich -- doing well in the bundesliga, as always, but a 2 - 1 squeaker against last place kaiserslautern does not put them in the place of the best team in europe, no matter what the wankers at the herald say. moreover, they finished second in the champ's league behind the far better juve. and i like bayern.
chelsea -- their league record can't be ignored, but when the best they can do against a team like wigan, who are good but not great, is a second one - nil victory they can't hold top spot on this list. and before the chelski fans go ballistic, keep in mind that fifth place is not bad -- and you will also note that my gunners are nowhere to be found.
barcelona -- should be waaaaaaay better than they are, but they're good enough to squeek into the bottom half of this list.
osasuna --punching way out of their weight class, osasuna are tied on points, but behind on goal difference, with barcelona. and that is more than good enough to make this list.
fiorentina --the surprise team of serie a. luca toni and the violets have been kicking ass all season, and they even played a brave game against juve, which they barely lost 1-2. more importantly they came back the next game to stay in the top three, tied on points with inter, but still behind on goal difference -- like their spanish soul mates osasuna.
auxerre --even with the loss to marseille, which they didn't deserve, auxerre are in second behind the mighty lyon in the most exciting league in europe this year. they may fall off this list soon, but they sure as fuck deserve to be here now. maybe when marseille beat lyon and get a goal scorer (like djibril cisse) they can regain their rightful place among europe's elite. but not yet.
benfica --who cares what their league position is? no one should. they beat the mighty red devils, ending man utd's eleven year spell in the latter stages of the champion's league, and they qualified for those stages themselves, leap-frogging lille with their win.